Had i NO: I had anal sex and started bleeding

My new boyfriend is a bit on the weird side. Initially, it was fun but I realised that I cannot cope anymore. Sometimes, he would ask to dress himself up in my underwear and bra and I considered it really sexy.
At other times, he would dress up in beastly attire that excites and scares me at the same time and he makes love to me like a horse. He has an outrageous strength and I enjoyed him all the time. Very recently, he started asking for anal sex and promised me it would be the best. I didn’t like the idea at first but we later had unprotected anal sex and when I got home, I had blood coming out of my anus when I went to the toilet. Besides, I didn’t like anal sex one bit.

Sex
He has started nursing the idea of using a whip on me to maximize his ejaculation as according to him, every painful sound I’d make would take him to climax. At one point, he suggested us having a threesome and having another man have sex with me while he watches. Everything is happening too fast for me and I’m beginning to feel cheap like a whore. What should I do with this relationship?

Joy Abuja

Dear Joy

The blood is probably coming from a break in the skin. However, bleeding is something you should try to stop from happening during sex, because it means you’re at higher risk of catching infections. Be very gentle during sex, whether it’s anal or vaginal or oral. The anus doesn’t lubricate and so you may decide to use lubricants. You should also protect yourself during sex to prevent infections spreading between you and your partner. And if you have vaginal sex as well, you need to change the condom between the anus and the vagina to prevent spreading germs from your bottom to your vagina.

I suggest you see a doctor for a check up for infections, especially if your boyfriend has had sex with someone else before you. Also to talk about starting on some contraception to use in case you want to have vaginal sex. What I don’t understand is why you allow yourself to be subjected to all manner of sex. Whipping, threesome and what you described as the queer stuff when you said you feel cheap about it. Are you in love with the guy or is the relationship just about sex because from my perception, the guy is not a serious relationship material.

But be very careful with unprotected sex especially anal sex as breaks in the skin can expose you to serious infections. Also be aware that just because you’ve had sex, you don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to. And you don’t have to do any particular sex act if you don’t want to . You should always feel absolutely free to say no to anything at any time, regardless of how far you’ve gone in the past or on that occasion. If you have any concerns you can speak confidentially to someone very close to you.